My 40th birthday is coming up and I am definitely celebrating myself with a photoshoot. I have been scouring the internet for all the things to do to get a wonderful photoshoot and this is what I have come up with.

The most important thing my precious self is looking for this year, is swag. A proper studio birthday photoshoot; makeup and all. And oh! No bulges, (body shaper to the rescue).  Like, I want a picture that would portray the real me as I am now. And if you asked me what adjectives describe me, I would say, ‘Alpha Female.’  L-i-a-r!  Okay, but at least I can describe myself as swanky? As long as I don’t come across as a ‘Slay queen.’  All in all, those pictures must come out, cute, cultured, classy. Perhaps I will create a mood board to give me some inspiration.

As already stated, I am going for a proper studio photoshoot this year. But I might consider doing a beach shoot too. Not that I know how to swim. Just to show off. As long as it doesn’t end up disastrously like last year’s. Here I was trying to look all celebrityish; dressed to kill and posing with my friend’s poodle (Betty) in my handbag, doing like I was some Paris Hilton.  The only snag was that Betty was born and bred in Ghana. Like she had probably been eating fufu and palm nut soup from day one. She knew nothing about posing in a handbag.  There she was, barking, and trying to come out of the bag, while I tried to push her back in. “It resembled your eyes.” Finally, I quickly pushed the bag with the dog under my armpit, (its little head sticking out of the bag and its tongue hanging out of its mouth), clutched my armpit tight (Animal Rights Alert!) as my friend quickly clicked the camera. Several minutes later we were done but not without dog scratches on my arm and my expensive cute handbag was almost half chewed. All this trouble, only to find out later that celebrities had moved on to bigger dogs.  Like the Beckhams now have a Spaniel.  I am not going to put myself through any such trauma this year. Heck, no.

I have been practicing my poses all month. Oh just in case I never said this about myself, I am a birthday person. Like the type of person that agonizes over how I am going to spend my June birthday, right from January.  Like, what would I wear and what theme will it be? etc. There was even a year I celebrated my birth month. Call me crazy if you like. This year’s photoshoot is an actual project for me. So yes, I already know what I am wearing and I love it.

However, I have also been learning my poses. For instance, I have been practicing the 45-degree rule. Sister won’t say she is perfect, but I am getting there. You know that rule that says, ‘if your body is turned 45 degrees towards one of the sides you will look slimmer and relaxed.’ Well, sister is aiming at a svelte shape this year, so your guess is as good as mine.

Yes guys, I am going all out this year! Props, balloons, confetti. I even intend to play music during the shoot.

So all in all, watch out all ye Instagram showoffs. Big sister is presenting this year with a bang. My 40th birthday photoshoot will be muah, muah and muah!!!