Growing up, I always found it fascinating how diverse my family background was. My dad hails from Tikobo No. 1 in the Western Region, proudly Nzema. My mum, on the other hand, is a blend of cultures, with her father from Anomabu in the Central Region and her mother from Axim in the Western Region. This mix meant that, apart from English, I grew up speaking both Nzema and Fante. One of the most captivating tales in our family lore is about my dad’s lineage, the Awoonor-Williams. According to family history, after the end of the slave trade in the US, three Awoonor-Williams brothers made a monumental journey back to Africa. They initially landed in Sierra Leone, but soon after, two brothers set off for Ghana while the third remained in Sierra Leone. One brother settled in the Western Region and the other in the Volta Region of Ghana. With knowledge only of plantations, they established vast cocoa plantations in Ghana. Over time, a remarkable shift occurred in our family. After a few generations of cocoa farming, my ancestors decided that the future lay in education, not agriculture. This pivotal decision led my great-grandparents, grandparents, and my father to pursue higher education. In a bid to simplify his identity, my dad dropped “Awoonor” from his name and became known simply as Williams. Today, the legacy of the Awoonor-Williams continues, though in a different field. The descendants have largely turned to law, with many becoming litigators and lawyers in Ghana and Sierra Leone. Even two of my nieces have followed this path. Meanwhile, my brother and I always considered ourselves the outliers, as we ventured into engineering. I’ve heard there is still a family house in Sierra Leone, a relic from our storied past. In the earlier days, family reunions alternated between Ghana and Sierra Leone, binding the family together across borders. However, as the years went by, this tradition faded. Despite the physical distance, the Awoonor-Williams in Ghana have maintained close ties. There’s a shared understanding of our rich history and the bond that unites us, reminding us of the remarkable journey of our ancestors and the legacy we carry forward. Anecdote 2 The Birthday Journal
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Grace The Formative Years Everything Has a Beginning “Wow!” whispered the distinguished gentleman, invited to commission a new ward at Efia Nkwanta Hospital, as he spotted the stunning nurse among her colleagues. “Who is that beauty?” he asked. “Oh, that is Alberta,” the doctor replied. “Hmm, I would like to meet her afterward if you can arrange it.” This was how my parents, Moses Kofi Williams and Alberta Nkokobio Amba Walters, met, fell in love, and got married. A few years later, on August 12, 1974, they were in the maternity ward of that same hospital. My father, cradling me lovingly, whispered in awe, “She is beautiful and should be named after someone great.” My mother, tired from giving birth, looked on proudly. I was their second child but the third for my mother, who had a son before marrying my dad. As the first daughter, following tradition, I was named after my beloved paternal grandmother, Monica Ayah Williams. Three months later, my mother was pregnant again with my sister, Anita. With all the attention on Anita when she was born, I quickly became independent. Kindergarten The Birthday Journal 5
“You are starting school today,” my mother whispered, her eyes shining as she bathed me. I already knew how to say the alphabet and could count to ten. I was eager and looking forward to reciting the alphabet if asked. However, I was only asked to draw a girl at the school entrance exam, which was easy. Expecting to be congratulated for a job well done, I instead saw amusement on the faces of my mum and the teacher. Noticing that the girl had no earrings, I quickly drew two small round earrings. “You have passed!” the teacher shouted joyously. My mum and I were excited, and that’s how I became a pupil of Merton International Nursery School in Accra. We lived in Labone at this time, and after two years, we moved to Sunyani, where my dad was transferred to the Regional Minister’s office as the District Chief Executive. Sunyani In Sunyani, I noticed that our neighbour was a white woman with mixed-race children. This was in the 1970s in Ghana, and it seemed perfectly normal to everyone. Sunyani was fun, and I learned to speak Bono-Ahafo. I remember whispers about the Ashanti King ’s death and being advised to stay indoors for safety. Perhaps my most significant memory of Sunyani was my mother’s accident. We were coming back from school like any other day when we got stuck in traffic caused by a head-on collision between a saloon car and a bus, which resulted in the saloon car somersaulting several times. Imagine our shock when we arrived at the accident scene only to discover that it was our mother’s car. I still vividly recall the tears we shed at that time. I was only six, but I also remember praying silently for God to save my mother. Truly, God hears the prayers of little children because my mother 6 The Birthday Journal
came back home unscathed and well. Sunyani was a beautiful city with natural scenery and a farm behind our house. I attended Ridge Experimental School and shared many memories with my siblings. Childhood Days From Sunyani, we moved back to Accra when my dad was assigned to the office of Vice President Dr. Degraft Johnson. We lived in Kanda temporarily, then moved to Cantonments, and later to Ridge, but continued to attend Burma Camp Complex School. When the government allowed workers to live in their own homes for an allowance, we moved to our newly built house in Tema. Crouching in my room, I looked at the vibrant cover of the Cinderella Ladybird book. I felt sorry for Cinderella and rejoiced when the prince asked for her hand in marriage. Our dad introduced us to books early; he brought Hansel and Gretel, Red Riding Hood, and other Ladybird books from his travels. By ten years old, I was reading newspapers, and as I grew older, I read my dad’s writings as a government speechwriter. This improved my reading and writing skills. In 1981, during a coup in Ghana, we all caught a bug, and my dad asked my uncle to take us to the hospital. On our way back, a military man stopped us, inspected the car, and discovered it was registered as a government vehicle. “Park!” he barked. We were taken home for my father to be questioned. They ‘roughed’ him up, causing us to panic. “Don’t worry,” he assured us. “I haven’t done anything wrong. I will come back soon.” It took two days before he was released, thanks to an old friend and schoolmate of his who was then a general in the army. My dad turned such events into lessons, emphasising the value of friendships and alumni relationships. The Birthday Journal 7
The warm afternoon sun filters through the windows of our family home in Tema. As I sit in the center of the living room, surrounded by my siblings, I can’t help but feel grateful for the strong connection between us. The room buzzes with laughter and nostalgia as we gather for dinner, and I feel a sense of accomplishment for managing to bring everyone back home. Tonight, the focus is on me as my siblings reminisce about my childhood and our shared memories, from our days in Sunyani to life in Tema and beyond. Bro Yaw starts with a smile, “Do you all remember the time I managed to get Da to give me that 14inch TV? I think Monica had a bit to do with that. She convinced him that I really needed it for my well-being. Her persuasive skills were definitely at work!” Anita giggles, adding, “Oh, I remember that too! But speaking of Monica’s influence, how about the time she stood up for me in primary school? There was this boy who tried to bully me, and Monica— our little warrior—took him down. I don’t think I could’ve survived school without her.” Kwaw chuckles, recalling, “And let’s not forget her storytelling. Monica used to write stories that I loved reading. I would eagerly wait for her to continue the story so I could read more. She had a knack for weaving tales that made them come alive. Books were a constant in our lives, thanks to our father, who introduced us to the magical world of stories from a young age. Da would return from trips with books, and our home in Labone was conveniently close to Omari Bookshop, a treasure trove where we spent countless hours exploring new worlds. And we can’t forget the countless table tennis games we had. Monica was always a fierce competitor!” Kojo, smiling fondly, chimes in, “That’s true. Monica was always a competitor and very much into sports. I still remember her athletic achievements and how she carried them with such pride. It was a big part of her growing up, and she was always pushing herself to be the best.” The conversation turns mischievous as Kojo grins, “And let’s not overlook the mischievous side of Monica. Like that time she broke curfew and came home through the window.” Anita laughs, “I remember that! And how about the time she would sneak into Da’s special chair? She never seemed to worry about getting caught. And don’t get me started on how she’d help herself to Da’s drinks—so bold! Or when she ate Da’s biscuits and tried to act all innocent. She was fearless, and it made for some great memories.” Kwaw shakes his head, “Hmmm… I don’t think it was her who came through the window, though. That was our cousin, Stingo.” Everyone recalls the day the boys played a trick on our late dad, and the memory brings a mix of joy and sadness, missing him but cherishing the fun times. I chime in, eager to shift the focus, “I remember that morning, as Da prepared for his 5 a.m. jog, he Echoes of Laughter Through Memories 8 The Birthday Journal
unexpectedly encountered Stingo, who quickly disappeared. Confused, he rushed inside and questioned you boys, and someone suggested checking the bathroom. When the bathroom light turned on, revealing our cousin, Da suspected something was amiss. Could it have been a thief he saw outside? Upon thinking about it, Da decided that the boys were up to something, so he went back to them after his jog and tried to bribe them into confessing. Eventually, someone confessed the truth. The boys had sneaked out to a disco the night before and returned home by scaling the wall. Stingo, the last one in, had panicked at the sight of Da and jumped back over the wall, only to sneak back in later. What joy Da felt when he realized he wasn’t losing his mind but simply dealing with a mischievous household.” Kwaw grins, “Wow, Monica! You have such a good memory! Your confidence was something else. And no matter what, you always stood up for what you believed in. Even though you had your moments, like being on the other side of the fence with a different perspective, you were always there for us.” Bro Yaw reflects, “Your journey has been remarkable, Monica. You’ve faced so many challenges, yet you’ve come through with strength and grace, adjusting to your new life in Canada and rising through the ranks as a civil engineer to a General Manager. I remember how proud I was when you bought that borehole drilling machine for our home. It’s just one example of your commitment to making things better for all of us.” Anita adds softly, “Ayah, your kindness and generosity have been a beacon for us all. And as your only sister, you’ve been my role model. You always had such a positive outlook and unyielding faith. Your ability to bring us together, even from afar, is something I truly admire.” Kwaw nods, “And your marriage hasn’t changed the bond we share. You’re always so mindful, and you maintain your beliefs and values while raising your family. It’s something I respect deeply.” Kojo smiles, “Remember that trip to South Africa? It was one of the best times we had together. Just being out there with you was simply amazing.” As each sibling shares their memories and reflections, I laugh and smile, my eyes sparkling with joy. The room is filled with warmth, love, and the enduring bond of family. Ma joins us to announce that food is served. She comments, “Eeiiiii Monica, let’s go eat now. You always talked too much! And you still do!” Most importantly, Ma is so grateful to God for gifting her with these amazing children as her personal squad! The Birthday Journal 9
Dear Monica, From the day you were born, you’ve brought immense joy into our lives with your playful spirit and an abundance of thick black hair. Your cheerful nature and beautiful hair made everyone adore you. Oh, how you could talk—and still do! You’ve always been the light of our family, spreading joy and laughter wherever you go. Your determination and kindness have been evident since childhood—always quick to help and never shy to speak your mind. Whether ensuring things were done right or supporting your siblings, you’ve always been dependable. One of my proudest moments was watching you navigate life gracefully, especially during challenging times, like managing everything after your father’s sudden passing. I remember how admirably you balanced studying and motherhood as a young mother in a foreign country. I’m also grateful for your generosity toward the family; you’ve always been there for your siblings without hesitation. Your compassionate nature, coupled with practical wisdom, has made you an amazing daughter, a great wife, and a wonderful mother. As you step into this new chapter, I want you to know how proud I am of the woman you’ve become. May your 50th year be filled with as much happiness and fulfillment as you’ve brought to all of us. God bless you! Love, Ma 10 The Birthday Journal
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Growth School Days Unfolded Tema/SOS (Hermann Gmeiner) “Ayah! Ayah!” Several near-adolescent boys, with their newly cracking voices, shouted at me, making funny faces and strange gestures because of my name, among other things. I squirmed—actually, I froze with fear. I was in primary five and had just gained admission to S.O.S. Hermann Gmeiner School in Tema, as it is now called. Ayah was my middle name, but at that time, I felt I should not be telling anyone about it to avoid a similar reaction. I had done so well in the admission examinations at S.O.S. that most of the teachers had begun to boast about my academic prowess. In fact, the teachers had been so impressed with my handwriting that they didn’t even bother marking my exam scripts before admitting me. Unfortunately, this backfired on me, as I became a target for male bullies in my class. I was mostly ahead of the boys in all subjects. Soon, I began to have a sinking feeling in my stomach when I woke up each day to go to school. But I would still put on a brave face and go. Despite all the jokes about my name, I still had friends in the class, and my best friend, Eunice, and my sister, Anita, were sympathetic to the name-calling. The Birthday Journal 13
“Dear, forget about what people are saying and focus on your work. Work so hard that you will make a brilliant pass,” my father encouraged me when he realised what was happening. This somewhat calmed me down. In the end, I passed my Common Entrance exam with flying colours and gained admission to Holy Child School (High School) in Cape Coast. I must say that I made most of my childhood friends in Tema and still keep in touch with many of them. These childhood experiences helped build my resilience. A Great Loss Arriving home from school one day, I noticed that the house was unusually quiet and that people had sombre expressions on their faces. “Your grandma has passed,” our mother said quietly, and we all burst into tears. We were deeply devastated. My paternal grandmother was very influential in our lives. Not only was I named after her, but we would also miss her for many other reasons. Holy Child School Arriving at Holy Child, an all-girls’ Catholic school, and being welcomed by 14 other roommates in my St. Cornelius dormitory was comforting. We had so much fun and mischief together. I was also an athlete for the school and made many friends at other boarding schools in the vicinity. I recall winning the 400m track event for several years and teaming up with Brenda Bannerman and Vivian Codjoe to win the 4x100m relay multiple times. Through sports, I learned resilience during those years at Holy Child. One day, during my sixth form, my classmate Akua Asante approached me and grumbled, “As for me, I can’t do biology. Period! All this reading, reading is not for me.” It was as if she was reading my mind. Even though I was an avid reader, I found biology too burdensome. I was technically minded and really enjoyed maths. I remember the late Mr. Ninson, our maths teacher, telling me that I was very good at maths and to watch out for minor mistakes. That advice really stuck with me. However, by the time we reached sixth form, Holy Child had stopped offering maths and only offered the traditional physics, chemistry, and biology combination. 14 The Birthday Journal
This meant that if one wanted to study engineering at university, they had to go to St. Augustine’s to study maths. With Akua leading, we approached the headmistress, Mrs. Agyeman, to request maths classes. “Hmm,” Mrs. Agyeman considered, “we don’t have a maths teacher here, but I can ask the computer science teacher on National Service to teach you.” It was a small victory; half a loaf was better than none. Having a computer science graduate who had never taught maths before was a Herculean task. We worked hard to grasp the concepts, to the extent that my dad, who initially wanted me to study biology, paid for private classes during the holidays to support my learning. Only three of us were in the maths class. When we sat for our A-Levels, Mrs. Agyeman encouraged us individually, saying, “Monica, good luck. Akua, good luck. Felicia, good luck.” It was a do-or-die situation as we wanted to pave the way for others. Remarkably, we all achieved Bs. When we collected our results, people could not believe we had succeeded. It was exciting and paved the way for future students. I recall the year below us (Purple Print) saying, “Monica, you opened this door for us. Without you, maths would have been gone from Holy Child.” Holy Child School was completely different from S.O.S. It was a new chapter for me. I attended this school because my mum, who is Catholic, wanted me to go to a Catholic school. Additionally, my aunt had also attended Holy Child and spoke highly of it. It turned out really well, to the extent that I encouraged my sister, my nieces, and other female relatives to attend Holy Child as well. Another aspect of secondary school that interested me was literature as a core subject. It greatly improved my vocabulary and love for literature. I also love the arts, and I still do. There’s a lot of art in my mother’s family. Two of my nieces are currently artists and hold events from time to time. It was also at Holy Child that I was diagnosed with migraines. I think I suffered a lot because the light was always on inmy dormitory, andmigraines do not fare well with light. Eventually, I switched places with Afia Nyarkoa Akwaboah, who was in St. Theresa’s House, a dormitory with scheduled lights-out, which helped a lot. Not only did I make beautiful friendships at school, but I also had a lot of fun. I am still in touch with most of my Holy Child sisters—over thirty-five years of sisterhood. The friendships we built during those years have endured. We shared so much together— both tough times and celebrations—and those connections have only grown stronger over the years. Even now, we stay connected through catch-ups, reunions, and social media. It’s amazing how those bonds from school continue to play such a significant role in my life. They have also become a crucial support system as we openly discuss the big “perimenopause and menopause” transition. I completed my post-sixth form national service at Methodist Day Secondary School, where I taught maths and science. This teaching experience helped me develop leadership skills and a sense of responsibility at an early age. The Birthday Journal 15
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Glowing Engineering My Life My Journey into Civil Engineering One Friday morning, I heard a knock and my father called me for a discussion. My heart raced, as these early meetings usually meant something serious. As I prepared to see him, I reviewed my recent actions and found nothing amiss. When I joined him, he spoke about my choice of an engineering career. “I know you wanted electrical engineering, but I’ve seen many women excel in civil engineering,” he said. He pointed out that Ghana was a developing country in need of infrastructure, creating more opportunities in civil engineering. Given my love for building, he suggested it might be a better fit. The Birthday Journal 17
I had initially chosen electrical engineering because I wanted to be in the same programme as my friend, Akua Asante. However, my dad encouraged me, noting the success of many women civil engineers at the Ministry of Roads and Highways, including a set of twins from Holy Child School who had worked with him. This led me to pursue civil engineering at Kwame Nkrumah University of Science and Technology in Kumasi. I was fortunate to be among many exceptionally smart students in my class. Though I wasn’t at the very top, I still graduated with a commendable second-class upper division. Love Comes Knocking “Monica, these people say they have seen a beautiful flower in this house and have come to pluck it. Upon looking around, I noticed that you are the flower they are referring to,” my father said, making me smile shyly. Meanwhile, my other relatives, resplendently dressed, were singing my praises in the background: “Our beautiful slim thread!” “Beauty stick!” Ernest, my fiancé, looked at me as if he had never seen me before. His family members were exclaiming, “Beautiful daughter-in-law!” On the ground in front of my parents and other elders were many wrapped packages; gifts from the groom. “Monica,” my father continued, “look at all these things they have brought to ask for your hand inmarriage. I have told them you won’t go because you will miss me and your mother very much, but they insist. That is why I have called you here to find out whether we should accept the items.” I wanted to laugh. My dad was funny. “Please accept the gifts,” I said shyly, and the room erupted in cheers. That was how I got traditionally married to Ernest. I first met Ernest through some girlfriends. Weeks later, I discovered that this post-university national service person attended the same church as my father and I. We became close friends, especially as we were both in the youth ministry and taught Sunday school together. By my first year at university, I was already in a relationship with Ernest. We dated for six years, mainly to get to know each other better and to allow me to complete my studies before getting married. We had our traditional marriage while I was in my final year at the university. 18 The Birthday Journal
Da! I held my phone, feeling faint, and collapsed to the ground, gasping for air and wailing. My friend Thelma took the phone from me and spoke with my sister. What had I just heard? Dad was gone? “How?” I screamed. “No! No! No!” I yelled, pounding the ground with my clenched fist. “Not my daddy!” “Why, Daddy, why?” “Why our daddy?” What would we do without him? Why did he have to die now that everything seemed fine? He had just returned from abroad, and his medical tests and vitals had been normal. It was a tremendous shock. Dad died in Takoradi while visiting his siblings. He suffered a heart attack, was rushed to the hospital, and died a few hours later. My dad was very influential in my life and played a significant role in many changes in Ghana, especially in public policy. He started as an administrator and quickly advanced into management. I recall our frequent relocations due to his transfers to different regional offices. Later, he worked in the office of the Vice President of the Third Republic, Degraft Johnson. Dad held many roles in government and was instrumental in Ghana’s economic recovery programmes. I am also proud of his leadership in shaping the government’s television and telecommunications digitisation policies. Our love for reading came from his passion for books. I can still picture him deeply engrossed in history books and writings by Ghana’s first president, Dr. Kwame Nkrumah. He believed in learning from the past to avoid future mistakes and always said that while a country may borrow money, using it wisely for the economy was crucial. After his death, I managed many of the funeral arrangements. Despite the shock, I relied heavily on God for strength. My dad’s death brought us siblings closer together, and we have remained tightly bonded ever since. We have so many fond memories of him, and talking about them often makes us emotional. I wish my dad could see how far we’ve all come and could have met his grandkids, but I know he is watching over us from heaven. AWhite Wedding “Do you take thisman to be your legally wedded husband?” the pastor asked. “I do,” I said, as the church cheered. I was happy to marry Ernest but sad that my dad wasn’t there. Ernest, studying in Germany, decided we should have the wedding despite his busy schedule. We married on 22 January 2000 and welcomed our children, Christopher in 2001 and Ekow in 2004. National Service I graduated from university in 1999 and was thrilled to learn that I had been posted to the Ghana Airport Authority! I was elated, especially when I discovered that I would be part of the team rehabilitating the Kotoka runway. Thrilled by the opportunity, I eagerly joined the team. We worked with a consultant to inspect the tarmac The Birthday Journal 19
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and assess the cracks that needed repair. I was also excited to be involved in the construction of the domestic terminal, which was underway at the same time. My timeat theGhanaAirportAuthority was a fantastic experience, though it was marred by a tragic incident. One day, I was shocked to learn that an older worker who was helping to bend steel for the tarmac reinforcement had died. He had been with us the day before. It turned out that he had slipped on the rods he was bending and fallen from the second floor. He was rushed to the 37 Military Hospital but succumbed to his injuries. The man had been wearing regular sandals instead of safety boots, while all the experts were in proper safety gear. This tragedy underscored the critical importance of adhering to safety standards. Although we completed the runway before I left, the domestic terminal was about 70% complete by the end of my national service. Business Woman à la Cash After my national service, I secured a job at Ghana Emulsion, where we sold road construction products. While working there, I started developing an entrepreneurial mindset. Inspired by the women empowerment work of the 31st December Women’s Movement, led by Konadu Agyeman Rawlings, I decided to start a business. That’s how my colleagues, also engineers, and I began a small construction business focused on car parks. We would procure the bitumen emulsion, build prototype roads to verify the quality, and then execute the jobs at hand. Every time, the guys would say, “Monica, you go look for the jobs.” At that time, I wanted to add road markings to the business because there was only one contractor in Ghana doing that. I thought, “This is something I could make a lot of money from.” The plan was to have all road markings performed at night when traffic was less busy. So I bid for some of those contracts and secured the jobs! The Birthday Journal 21
The managers of De Simone Construction Company watched in awe as I delivered a brilliant presentation, showing them what our company had to offer, what they stood to benefit if they awarded us their contract, and why we were the best choice among the bidders. At that time, there were only a few women in civil engineering, so I think they were mesmerised by how a female engineer explained all the technical concepts, especially in a male-dominated profession. Unsurprisingly, we won the contract. I believe they were fascinated to see a practising and brilliant female civil engineer at work in Ghana at that time. I left the business concept and ideas with my colleagues when my husband decided that we should migrate. One of my colleagues continued the company and expanded it. He’s still involved in road contracts and has added building projects to his portfolio. Canada Bound One morning, Ernest held me close before I left for work and whispered, “Let’s go to Canada.” Wow. It wasn’t coming out of the blue, though. I was aware that things were deteriorating at his workplace, and his sister, who lived in Canada, had been encouraging us to join them there. My business was taking off successfully, but it didn’t sound like a bad idea. We could further our education, which would equip us for better opportunities when we returned to Ghana. “Why not?” I replied. Ernest went back to being a Production Manager for one of the steel firms, Wahome, when he returned from Germany. Unfortunately, that company collapsed. He then got another position as a Production Manager. Given the situation in the industry in Ghana at the time, we decided to move to Canada after we were granted permanent residency. The plan was to do our master’s and PhDs and return to Ghana to teach. However, when we arrived in Canada, life changed. After our master’s programme, we were offered good jobs and also thought it was a great opportunity for our children to get an excellent education. Thus, we decided to stay. When we first arrived, we lived with my sister-in-law in Calgary for a couple of weeks. We came right after 9/11, during a recession. Some friends who already lived here suggested that we use this opportunity to start our respectivemaster’s programmes, so we began looking for schools. While waiting for an offer of admission, I got a job at a supply chain company where I worked with computers to tag items for Walmart. It was a goodway to save for school and pay our bills at the same time without dipping too much into the funds we brought with us to Canada. A few months into the job, where I was performing brilliantly, I was admitted to a master’s programme, and in my excitement, I informed one of my coworkers. “Hello,” the voice said from the other end of the line. The number was my agency’s, but the speaker sounded cold and distant. After the greetings, the agent stated that my assignment had ended. I was shocked and asked, “Oh, why?” She replied, “Is it true you’re going to school?” I said, “Yes, but I haven’t told you yet.” She continued, “Well, we were informed, so the assignment has ended. You’re a very good worker, but sorry, it’s over.” It was quite a shock. It turned out to be a mistake to inform my co-worker about my plans. She informed management that I was planning to leave for school in two weeks, leading to my layoff from that job two weeks earlier than planned. That experience was a valuable lesson to me: Do not assume everyone is happy for you when you share your good news, and it’s always important to be cautious about what and whom you share with. Opening up the mail, I saw it was an admission letter for Ernest to theUniversity of Waterloo. What exciting news! I had already secured my placement at Western, which was just about an hour and a half away from Waterloo. In our excitement, we quickly packed a few things, and that was how we left Calgary and moved to Ontario. There was tremendous support from the Ghanaian community in Ontario, reminiscent of Holy Child School. We encountered Ghanaian professors and students who guided us through practical matters like getting a credit card and finding a doctor. We even formed a prayer group that lasted for years, and we continue to stay connected through social media. 22 The Birthday Journal
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Gratitude Adjusting to Canadian Life We had both just finished our master’s programmes and, wanting to settle down fairly quickly, we started job hunting. We agreed that, “Whoever gets a job first, we’re going to move to where the job is!” Well, I got a job first, and it was in Sudbury. We moved to Sudbury, and Ernest found a job in engineering consulting as well. That’s how we ended up there, and that was my first engineering job. It was a little bit rough at first because it was obviously different from the way we worked in Ghana, but I had completed a master’s programme and was equipped with a different skill set. The software modelling that I had studied as part of my master’s programme was key in navigating this new challenge. There was no doubt that I had to up my game. Besides, I was the only Black person there and wanted to be a high performer to open doors for future Black professionals. Career Shifts and Personal Growth 24 The Birthday Journal
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Everything was going smoothly, except for one gentleman who was not happy to see me performing a role as a senior engineer when I was hired as an intermediate engineer. I noticed he constantly had people checking on me and monitoring my work as if I were a novice, which began to bother me significantly. It felt like someone was always breathing down my neck. I started to feel uncomfortable, and after discussing it with Ernest, I decided to leave the company. Besides, given the stressful nature of this job, we believed that finding something less stressful would benefit the family, especially the kids. I moved to a mining company where I had previously done substantial work while I was with the consulting firm. This was my first time working directly in the mining industry, and overall, the experience was positive. However, the mining sector can be quite volatile, with significant ups and downs. In 2008, the global recession hit, causing metal prices to plummet, and as a result, approximately 700 of us were laid off. Although losing my job was disappointing, the experience and connections I had gained opened up new opportunities. As the Bible states, “I know your deeds; see, I have placed before you a door that no one can shut” (Rev. 3:8a). It wasn’t long before I received a new offer letter, and it was a great one. Although Ernest still had his job, he was bored with performing engineering designs, so he also applied to the same company and was offered a job — it would take us back to Alberta, where my sister-in-law lived. Returning to Alberta was beneficial, especially as the kids began playing competitive soccer. At Syncrude, I found a supportive community, with many Ghanaian engineers and other professionals. We helped each other out, like picking up each other’s kids and babysitting when needed. The support system was fantastic. However, the extreme cold in Fort McMurray, with temperatures reaching -50°C, made us think about moving to a warmer climate after five years. During our time in Sudbury, before I switched jobs, I experienced another loss — this time, it was my maternal grandmother. She had imparted so much wisdom to me, and I always hoped that her sharp memory had been passed down to me. As an entrepreneur, she shared a great deal about her business during breaks from school at Holy Child School. She also taught me essential skills, such as cooking and how to be a good wife and mother. I loved her deeply and will always cherish the memories we shared. I know she is in heaven, smiling down on me. The Turning Point Leaving my boss’s office and returning to mine, I often felt slightly underappreciated. To shift my focus, I began considering pursuing an executive MBA. My GMAT scores were set to expire in a year, and it seemed a waste not to use them for an MBA programme. Moreover, observing senior management in action made me feel there were promising opportunities in that realm. Ernest strongly supported this idea, and I embarked on the MBA journey. Shell had a valuable programme where attending MBA classes on Fridays was counted as training and paid as if you were working. This arrangement meant that Shell effectively funded a significant portion of the programme, which was fantastic. I always advise my mentees to build their technical expertise as engineers before pursuing an MBA in Management, not the other way around. During the MBA programme, I met many professionals, including managers and vice presidents, who became part of mynetwork.Out of a class of thirty-nine, twelvewerewomen: two Black, two Indian, and the rest Caucasian. The experience was enriching, with managers sharing their personal challenges, solutions, and salary structures, which was incredibly insightful. By the end of the programme, I was eager to apply what I had learned. With a focus on environmental sustainability and strategic management, I sought opportunities in these areas. I took advantage of the programme’s free career coaching, working 26 The Birthday Journal
with a coach recommended by a fellowMBA student. The coach advised me to complement my technical background with a move into management, given my years of technical leadership. An unexpected opportunity arose for a role in Sudbury, where I had previously worked. They needed someone with experience in tailings management who could quickly adapt. Although hesitant about returning to Sudbury, I went through two interviews and was invited for a third. This interview went well, and the hiring manager recommended me to the CEO, who was impressed and willing to facilitate my move from Calgary. I accepted the job! This role excited me as it aligned with both my technical and MBA skills and provided an opportunity to mentor women in the Oil & Gas and Metal Mining industries. I was tasked with building my own team, so I brought in two women from the Oil & Gas industry in Alberta. Less than a year into their roles, they had become high performers, and my boss often asked if I could poach more women. I jokingly replied, “No, this is my limit; I want to keep the friendships I’ve made in Alberta.” I currently lead a strong team at a very high level, and we are achieving great results. 27 The Birthday Journal
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Monica, it has been 30 wonderful years since we first met, and 24 years since we began this beautiful journey together in marriage. You are truly the best thing that has ever happened to me, and words simply cannot capture the depth of my love for you. As I’ve always told you, if I had to choose over and over again, it would always be you. My love for you only grows stronger as we grow older. Every moment with you has been a treasured memory. From the day we met when you were just 20, to the joy of welcoming our children, Chris and Ernie, into the world, our time together has been filled with love and happiness. As we look to the future, my wish for you is good health, continued blessings on our marriage, and for our love to grow even deeper. Love, Ernest Mom, you sacrificed so much for me, and that’s why I love you so much. We have shared plenty of good memories, especially the time we went skiing at Lake Louise. I enjoyed every minute of it. My wish for you is to be well and healthy as you continue this journey of life. Love, Chris Mom, I truly admire your passion for the things you care about, whether it’s your job, exercising, or staying healthy. Your enthusiasm is both inspiring and infectious. I fondly remember watching you play soccer. I recall a particularly amusing moment when, as the goalie, you went to pick up a gently passed ball, only for it to roll between your legs and into the net. It was both memorable and funny. On your 50th birthday, my wish for you is to explore all the countries you’ve dreamed of visiting. May your travels be as exciting and fulfilling as you’ve always hoped. Love, Ernie Our Heart and Soul: Monica 30 The Birthday Journal
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Giving Leadership Lessons Say a Prayer Each Morning Arriving at work, I quickly went to my office, locked the door, and began a quiet prayer time. One of my friends saw me enter but found the door locked when she tried to come in. She must have found it odd because she later came by to ask why I had locked the door. I explained that I was having a short quiet time. I learned several important lessons from my workdays. I pray in the mornings, asking for strength before starting work, since there is always a chance that someone might come in and throw me off. An area of caution is interaction with people; once something is said, it’s out there and can’t be taken back. This was a crucial lesson for me, particularly in human relations. Sometimes, if we’re not careful, we might let things bother us more than we realise. 33 The Birthday Journal
It Is All About Perspective In the MBA programme, they taught us about human behaviour, but I learned a lot more from real experiences. It’s funny, I always tell Akua and Josie, “Hold on. Breathe, breathe.” As a leader, what you say and do has a lasting impact. Even at work, your actions set the tone. I had to transition from being a technical advisor who asserted authority to a leader who serves people. This was a huge change for me. I had to learn to listen and understand others’ issues. I noticed how well company leaders, including my bosses, listened to what I had to say. It made me reflect and ensure others felt heard. So, this was a skill I had to develop. My current engineering team is very diverse, with almost 40% being female engineers. Now, I have to focus more on listening and being empathetic, rather than just providing technical direction and guidance as I had done for years. It was a bit of a transition, but armed with lessons from my MBA, I was able to navigate it. Whenever I catch myself talking too much and not listening enough, I hear a voice in my head reminding me to be quiet and listen. 80% Is Sometimes Good Enough As a woman, and in conversations with my colleagues, I’ve noticed we often strive for perfection, which can lead to stress. One manager once told me, “Monica, you want it today? I’ll give you 80%. Give me two months, and I’ll give you 100%.” There was an instance where my female boss set a two-day deadline for a product delivery. We rushed to meet it, but none of the male bosses submitted their work on time. They actually took an extra week with minimal stress compared to us. When I asked one of the male peers about this, he explained that they had told the boss that if a perfect product was desired, they needed an additional week. If something less than perfect was acceptable, they could meet the two-day deadline. The boss opted for the longer timeline to ensure a better product and to avoid undue stress on the team, taking responsibility for any late delivery. Now, when I’mrushed, I remindmyself, “Monica, 80% is okay in that short timeframe — just declare it and don’t stress to achieve 100% immediately.” This was a significant lesson for me, especially as a Black woman trying to meet high standards. As I’ve grown older, I’ve realised I also have leverage and sometimes need to use it because personal health is paramount. Culture Is Different in Every Company Another lesson I learned is that company cultures can be very different. For example, one company I worked with had a lot of people who were very sensitive. You had to be careful not to offend anyone, as even small actions could be blown out of proportion. In contrast, at my new company or a previous one, people would often brush off similar issues and move on. This experience taught me the importance of understanding a company’s culture. I advise my mentees to spend the first six months learning how things work. Success often depends on how well you can integrate into that culture. If you don’t fit in, you’ll face many challenges. It Is About Equity I learned this in the MBA programme. If you see that someone is earning more than you for the same work, you need to talk to your boss. I remember working with a guy who was doing the same work as I was, but he was making more. So, I went to my boss and discussed it, saying, “It’s about equity.” She was surprised and quickly addressed the issue. Howdo you get that kindof boldness? It comes from knowing your worth, being confident in your work, and being able to articulate your request. If they don’t address it, it’s their loss. I learned to present my case clearly, and it paid off. After some reorganisations, I had the opportunity to write more technical papers and even led a working group to produce a highly anticipated document in tailings management. I also mentored high school students, including those from Holy Child. I focused on educating girls and helping them navigate challenges. I don’t want other women to face the difficulties I did, as there are ways to succeed while overcoming them. Work-Life Balance It took me a while to realise that my family’s activities needed to come first at all times, even as my career grew. I made it a point never to miss my kids’ games, recitals, or school events. I learned to create boundaries, ensuring no one contacted me during vacations unless it was an emergency. Looking back at pictures of my kids learning to ride bikes, playing soccer, and engaging in other activities, I cherish these moments that can’t be remade. I always tell my mentees that your health and family should come first, and no job is worth compromising that balance. Giving Back I firmly believe in giving back, whether in cash or kind. The Bible says that giving comes back to you in good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and runningover. Throughout my leadership career, giving has been integral. I’ve contributed around 15 technical articles and papers to advance tailings management in the Oil & Gas industry and participated in groups like the MAC Tailings Working Group and COSIA. It’s fulfilling to receive positive feedback from other engineers about the impact of my work. I also advocate for STEM, presenting and discussing the importance of women in these fields from high school to the industry. I volunteer at church, the Food Bank, the Centre of Hope, and various local charities. Giving back has been deeply rewarding. Ernest has always been my biggest supporter and ally in giving back to the profession and community. 34 The Birthday Journal
Marriage Life Ernest is the love of my life, and we are blessed with two children. By the time we left Ontario for Fort McMurray, Chris was seven, and Ekow was five. Balancing work was challenging, but since we both worked for the same company, we had Fridays off m. We used those Fridays to travel to Edmonton with the kids to enjoy family time. We also enrolled them in soccer, which led me to become a referee — a role that improved my decision-making skills in my career. We managed our schedules by rotating responsibilities for events like recitals. The toughest times were in Sudbury when both of us were working in consulting, which had demanding deadlines. Moving to the industry allowed for a more predictable schedule and more family time. As our boys grew older, we enjoyed travelling, hiking, and savouring the simple joys of life together. We plan to continue travelling and enjoying each other’s company as we transition into empty nesters and eventually retire. I’m deeply grateful for Ernest’s support and our wonderful children. I am so grateful to God for the journey He has taken me on and continues to guide me on. It has been fifty years of grace, growth, glowing, gratitude, and giving! The Birthday Journal 35
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Monica, as you celebrate turning the big 5-0, your family, friends, colleagues, and acquaintances have come together to share their thoughts and memories about you. These messages offer a vibrant snapshot of who you are and the many ways you’ve touched their lives. From heartfelt stories to cherished moments, each note is filled with love and admiration, topped off with warm blessings and well-wishes. One thing I love about you is your intelligence and boldness. I still remember the time when Berth and I joined you for a presentation in Accra. You made me feel so comfortable. You weren’t the typical Ghanaian auntie; I think your Canadian heritage played a part in that. My wish for you is a long life and the opportunity to witness your niece and me get married. Happy Birthday, Monica! Christopher What I really like about you is your tenacity, can-do attitude, kindness, and generosity. Above all, I admire your devotion to God. I have a lot of memories with you. We grew up in Ghana and have known each other for over four decades. Our relationship has been flawless. I remember our walks to attend youth Bible teaching services at Community 11 St Paul’s Methodist Church, where we would talk about many things, encouraging and advising each other. You are more than a friend to me. As the Bible says, “There is a real friend who sticks closer than a brother.” My wish for you on your 50th is that all your dreams and aspirations are fulfilled in your lifetime. Eunice One great memory I have is from 1995 when you and my brother Ato were dating. We all took a day trip to Akosombo Volta Hotel. There were three couples in a small BMW 3 series, so you had to sit on Ato’s lap, but you were very shy then. Monica, I love your generosity, kindness, and consistent support for the needy. You never miss an opportunity to help someone in need. On your 50th, I wish you a life filled with joy, love, and continued success. Emmanuel Kwaku Ansa-Sam The Portrait of aWoman Monica 40 The Birthday Journal
I love that you are a boss lady! You’re truly an inspiration, achieving such great success in your career, especially as a Black female engineer in Canada. You’re also an incredible mother and wife! One of my favourite memories with you is watching romantic movies on the Hallmark Channel together. It’s never a dull moment, LOL. I’m so grateful to God for how far He’s brought my awesome auntie! God has been so faithful! I wish you the very best in the next decade. May it be filled with many moments of laughter, joy, and peace. May God’s goodness and favour be even more evident in this new decade and always! Isaiah 61:7 “Instead of your shame, you will receive a double portion, and instead of disgrace, you will rejoice in your inheritance. And so you will inherit a double portion in your land, and everlasting joy will be yours.” Amen! Nana Adjoa Ansa-Sam Happy Birthday to a strong and generous lady, Monica, who goes out of her way to bless people out of the goodness of her heart. I have fond memories of us serving as Sunday school teachers at Immanuel Methodist Church in Tema, Ghana. I enjoyed doing the work of God together with you. I pray for good health, God’s favour, and many blessings in your life. May He grant you all your heart’s desires and increase you in every aspect of your life. Olivia Ansa Sam Gavua I love how you have so much energy, charm, friendliness, ambition, and focus. Everything about you is super! Talking to you is always a pleasure. Whenever I’m bored, I call you. Happy Birthday, Monica! I wish you good health, prosperity, and a closer walk with the Lord. I pray you will not only see your great-grandchildren but also play soccer with them. Rodney Atta-Konadu Happy 50th Monica! I love your warm personality and intelligence. You are a childhood friend, and I recall the times we spent together with your siblings playing table tennis and watching movies (VHS) at your home in Ghana. My heartfelt prayer for you is good health, peace, and to experience the goodness of God. Kwame Osae Monica, I admire your kind and generous nature. You have a heart of gold, always willing to give and share with others. Your kindness brightens every room you enter, and your generosity makes a positive impact on everyone around you. Some of my best memories are from Ghana, during the 5 years we lived in St. Cornelia’s House and our 3 years as classmates in ‘H’. From late-night chats and study sessions to all the fun and laughter we shared, those moments are truly unforgettable. On your 50th birthday, I wish you joy, success, and love. I hope you continue to shine your kindness and generosity, touching the lives of everyone you meet. Here’s to good health, great opportunities, and unforgettable memories. I’m grateful for our friendship and excited to see what the future holds for you. Hannah The Birthday Journal 41
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