42 February 2022 The Birthday Journal The prophecy brought some comfort, but as she sat down to eat the following morning, a small voice whispered in her ears, “What makes you think that you will survive this? How special are you from all the other people who have died? “Putting the tea cup back on the saucer, her tongue dried out again. “That is when the real battle actually begins. That is, the spiritual battle. As soon as I tried to be strong, the negative thoughts crept in. But once I accepted God’s word that I was not going to die, I told myself that I was going to live to the glory of God.” Esther had been warned about the effects of chemotherapy, but nothing prepared her for the reality of it. So when one day, while combing her hair, large clumps of hair began falling from her head, she felt terrified. Coupled with this was the loss of appetite, the soremouth and throat, the vomiting, the consistent tiredness, her gnarled, discoloured nails, her ashy skin, and the sheer weight loss. The effects of chemotherapy took their toll on her. There were days when she felt she would not live to see the next day. “It was a real battle. One minute you feel fine, you are not going to die, and the next minute you think you don’t have the will and you are going to die.” It helped that her children were all away in boarding school. So far, she had succeeded in keeping the secret from them, and she thought she was doing a good job of distancing herself from them. Until one day, while in her bathroom, the door opened and who walked in but her son, Yooku, leaving her feeling very stunned. Yooku recalls, The year was 1994. I had left school to buy stuff at the Sonturk Supermarket when I bumped into my uncle, Professor Micah, at the supermarket. After pleasantries and a brief chat, he mentioned that they (Uncle Micah and Auntie Gladys) would always be there for me and my siblings and concludedby saying that with God all things were possible, so we should continue to live in the hope that Mummy would be healed. This conversation got me slightly puzzled, but I attached little significance to it at the time. A few weeks later, I went home. When I got in, I was told Mummy was in her bedroom. I went upstairs and heard a noise from her bathroom, so I went in and saw my mother. She was sitting in the bath, bald with a few strands of hair sticking up like iron filings attracted to a magnet. She turned sideways but was not quick enough to hide her mastectomy scars. I also noticed that her fingernails had turned brown and she kept vomiting. She stepped out of the bath, robed, and told me she’d been diagnosed with breast cancer. This was a big blow to Yooku, who asked her what the prognosis was. However, she didn’t answer him. Rather, she delved into an indirect lecture about what she expected of him in her absence, causing him to go numb, his legs suddenly becoming weak and unable to support his body. I tried muttering a few words, but my lips were sealed. I tried crying, but not a single tear dropped on my cheeks. Even though I was present in the room with Mummy, it felt like I was in a trance. I can’t explain the experience, and I have never shared this weird encounter with anyone, not even with my beautiful beloved wife Dora. I was angry and was expressing my anger with whoever I was talking to. It was a blurry experience, as though I was high Dominic Yooku and Esther
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