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Contents JENNIFER: JOURNEY OF IDENTITY THE PATHWAYS OF TRANSFORMATION EMBRACING THE HOMELAND CONTENTMENT ANDGROWTH THE ‘Amazing U’ MAKEOVER 07 10 24 31 32 3 The Birthday Journal
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Our housemistress swiftly packed my things and gave me a hug as she and some others helped me carry my stuff as we made our way out of the dormitory. It was all hush, hush; no one knew I was leaving school. Meanwhile, my grandmother, Obaapanyin Comfort Ansah (aka Auntie C), was waiting at the headmistress’ office. I wasn’t sure what was happening other than that I was going home, and no one bothered to tell me. On our way back home, we passed by Prempeh College to see my brother. It was only when we got home that my grandmother told me that I was going back to London to be with my parents. I didn’t even have time to say goodbye to my brother or my friends. Prologue 5 The Birthday Journal
How it all began It wasn't but eleven years ago, 1973, when my parents, the late Theodore Kwaku Asamoah and Rachel Asamoah, proudly looked at me, their beautiful new-born baby girl, in faraway London. Having left their five other children back home in Ghana, in 1968 & 1971, as they came in search of greener pastures, it felt good to be holding at least one baby. However, soon they would have to make the heart wrenching but convenient decision of sending me back to Ghana at the tender age of sevenweeks; formy parents had only lived in London a few years by then, and were yet to properly document their stay. The pride on my grandmother's face, when I was first handed to her, as she danced around with me in her arms, probably singing, “abrokyire ba,” “abrokyire ba.” It was lovely being brought Jennifer : Journey Of Identity The pride on my grandmother’s face, when I was first handed to her, as she danced around with me in her arms, probably singing, “abrokyire ba,” “abrokyire ba.” It was lovely being brought up by grandmother, grandfather and auntie, who were so protective and loving of me. “ “ 6 The Birthday Journal
up by grandmother, grandfather and auntie, Nana Afua Onyaneh, who were so protective and loving of me. They, together with my elder siblings, probably viewed me as a link between them and my parents, who they hadn't seen in such a long time; like I was a piece of mummy and daddy. They really treated me special. My grandma took me everywhere; she pioneered the local Presbyterian Church in Asawase, therefore that was a big part of my life. I followed her to church every morning, was involved in the Girls Brigade, in the children's church, and particularly, during children's day celebrations. Grandma was more of a mother to me, so much so, that I never even felt my parents’ absence. I was often reminded, though, that I was born in London and would return sometime. Our parents kept in touch by calling us often and by writing letters and sending cards. Then again, they would send us lovely stuff whenever someone was coming home to Ghana. “Siesta time! Everyone, lie on your mats and sleep!” My nursery school teacher shouted, trying to get us to take a nap; we were a rowdy lot. However, I could Grandma was more of a mother to me, so much so, that I never even felt my parent’s absence. I was often reminded, though, that I was born in London and would return sometime. not sleep. I didn’t dare sleep for fear of my face being wiped with the communal face towel, when we woke up. Instead, I would toddle off to my aunt’s class; it was this aunt who had registered me at the nursery section of the K.O. Methodist School, Ashanti New Town, because she taught there. She and the headmistress were suchgood friends and sometimes, I would even visit the headmistress’ class. I got a lot of special attention at school, courtesy of those two. There were always people around me in Ghana, so there was no time to feel lonely. At the age of seven, I was bundled off to boarding school in Kumasi, together with my brother. I think my grandmother feared she would over-pamper me, and therefore wanted a place that had structure, and was more conducive for learning. There we were, our trunks and other items being offloaded from our car, which was parked in front of a big storey building. The signboard in front of the gate had Peter’s Educational Centre, in bold, prominent letters. I really loved school, I was quite the academic type. The year before that, my brother and I, had lived with my uncle, Lawyer Obubah, and his family in Labone, Accra, where we had been treated like royalty. His house was a plush mansion, with servants and chauffeurs and workers. There were lots of books in that house, and it was very different from the Government Estate house where I lived with my grandma in Kumasi. We lived there with him and my cousins, his wife was away in London. My uncle was very particular about our studies, he arranged for extra studies for us, even at that young age. It’s no wonder then that upon returning to Kumasi, I was far ahead of my peers, to the extent “ 7 The Birthday Journal
of being skipped ahead several grades. By the age of eleven, I was ready to go to secondary school, the normal thing in Ghana was to go at thirteen. I loved school, with all the healthy competition that came with it, and all the extra-curricular activities. Eleven years old, and there I was in freezing cold London, my mother rushing to buy me winter clothing, boots and scarves. It had been my understanding that I was going to my parents, so it felt a little bit off when I got there, only to discover my parents, separated and on the brink of divorce. Not that it affected me much, I was used to not living with them. However, what struck me though, was the general lack of people. I felt so lonely, away from my grandma, my siblings and my friends; people who together had been my village. NowIwas alone. For the first time inmy life, I felt like an only child. There are still people who think I am an only child. I thinkmy mother must have been very frustrated by the many times she came home to find me crying in those early days. The good thing though was that my daddy lived nearby, and would visit to take me shopping for beautiful clothes in the West End. On outings, he sometimes took me to his workplace and introducedme to all his friends. It also helped that one or two of my siblings would come for a holiday or two. Dad Mom 8 The Birthday Journal
My uncle was very particular about our studies, he arranged for extra studies for us, even at that young age. It’s no wonder then that upon returning to Kumasi, I was far ahead of my peers, to the extent of being skipped ahead several grades. “ 9 The Birthday Journal
Secondary School “You have had almost all your education in co-ed schools, would you like to try a single-sex school, for secondary school?” theEducationOfficer asked, smiling atme. “Sure, why not?” I thought to myself, as I nodded in acceptance. My mother had taken me to the Education Centre to register me for school, and as I was eleven, I was automatically due for secondary school. That was the practice in those days. So, after a small test, which I passed, I was admitted into a Girls’ school called Haggerston Secondary School, in East London. Haggerston was nice, relaxed, and very different frommy boarding school in Kumasi. Soon, I started to enjoy day school and the soft life there. I also mademany friends there, and took up volleyball and piano lessons. I recall a survey being conducted to identify students from different parts of the world, and someone asking me where I was from, to which, I responded that I was from Ghana. There and then, someone shouted, “We have a Ghanaian in our class!” That was how I became friends with Dora with whom I am still friends to this day. It was easy to assimilate at Haggerston, even though the girls would make fun pathways Of Transformation The It was easy to assimilate at Haggerston, even though the girls would make fun of my Ghanaian accent, I made many lovely friends there, including my best friend, whose child I am godmother to. “ 10 The Birthday Journal
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of my Ghanaian accent, I made many lovely friends there, including my best friend, whose child I am godmother to. On the home front, I started to adjust as well; mom bonding with me, by going with me to church and to shops, working together at home, cooking, going to parties, and visiting friends. Also, mom had lots of friends, who had children. That was how I met people like Abena who is also back in Ghana now, French Kiss DJ and Gloria, who’s now in Chicago. After Secondary School Days “Would it be okay to take two days off this week?” I asked the chef. The year was 1991, and I had completed a B-Tech, National Diploma at Southgate College, which I attended after secondary school, between 1989 and 1991. I had decided to do some travelling to the United States to be with my big sisters Lydia and Theodora and Cobi, my brother, who had moved to the States and I hadn’t seen in a couple of years. After Southgate, my friend Yvonne and I decided to go along with another friend, Jacqueline, in search of a job at Camp America. We did not have the necessary skills required to teach the kids at the camp, but the Camp Managers offered us positions as camp aides in the kitchen, which suited us perfectly. We left for the summer job in America. At the camp, Saturdays were my days off, but on one of those Saturdays, the camp kids were going out, so there was no work to be done in the kitchen. Therefore everyone kind of had two days off. Unfortunately, my chef refused to giveme an extra day off, which I thought was really unfair, 12 The Birthday Journal
so I just didn’t go to work, and he fired me. Well, my friend Yvonne decided that if I was leaving, then she was too. I was gutted that my camp experience had come to an abrupt end. We contacted the Camp Representatives, who offered us another camp in Philly. These were for older people; I guess they were probably college students; mostly footballers and cheerleaders, and theyweremostlyAfricanAmericans coming from all over the States. It was an amazing experience and I learnt a lot about African American history from them. It was significant in that I rebelled against a perceived unfair situation, and had won by getting a better deal. I did a lot of travelling in 1991, spending time with family friends in New York and my siblings in Houston. I also visited Ghana that year. Uni Filling in my university forms, I deliberated on which courses to offer. This was 1993, and I was filling out the forms for the University of Hertfordshire. Sociology was one of my favourite subjects whilst in secondary school so it stood out to me. I loved 13 The Birthday Journal
people, and I was sure this course would be perfect for me. Then, there was Social Sciences, which was the inthing then, finally, Law; not because I wanted to practise it, but because I liked the idea of doing lots of reading and understanding Law, and how to argue cases. University was fun. Not only was the academics interesting, but there were societies and groups one could join. I remember joining the AfricanCaribbean Society Meeting, and they wanting to vote for new executives. Now they gave us all these names to vote for, but I stood up and declined, stating that I was new, that I knew no one there, and that none of the people on the list had given me reasons to vote for them, or how their election into office would benefit the Club. It is interesting because they immediately put me on the ballot for being so vocal, and the members voted me as president, even though I was just a freshman! By 1996, I had graduated with a B.A. Honours in Social Sciences – Law major. Corporate Lady While I was at university, I did some part time work with Debenhams on Oxford Street. This coupled withmy background in Social Science and Law, made me a good candidate for the Local Government Rent Office Service, where I worked before leaving in 1997, to become a Portfolio Assistant with Clerical Medical Investment Group. My applying for that job was one of those ‘acting by faith’ moments. I had seen the job in one of these freely distributed magazines, and thought that with my experience in the Rental Officer Service, a bit of legal studies, and my experience as a Customer Service Person in retail, I was most suitable for the post, but my friends discouraged me from applying; they thought the publication was just a formality and no-one ever was hired that way. However, I did apply for it and I got it! It was a good job, but the real deal was to get to work in Investment Administration, so, while I was working in properties, I started studying about Regular Asset Management and Admin regulatory stuff. I passed a few courses, then applied to be transferred into the Investment Administration Department, which I was able to do. That was a wonderful job, but a time came when I thought to seek an even better offer so I could make enough to get married and settle down. That was when I applied to Goldman Sachs. Indeed, I got that job but had to decline it later on because of the long hours and plenty travel required for it. Such a job would not allow me to settle down and raise a family. I have always wondered how my life would have turned out, if I had accepted that job. Interestingly at the same time Goldman Sachs was trying to hire me, another company, which was based literally opposite the Goldman Sachs building; a smaller, French company, was also interested in my services and were willing to match whatever Goldman Sachs was offering me. In the end, even though I didn’t go to Goldman Sachs, I was able to double my salaryby taking a jobwith theother company, SG Asset Management, which wasn’t as intense, and I guess as demanding as maybe working at Goldman Sachs would have been. 14 The Birthday Journal
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In the maze of life's moments, there was one fateful day in June 1997 that knocked me out of my slumber. A friend's early call disrupted my rest, dragging me into a favour I almost declined. If I had, none of this would have unravelled. Fate's whimsy was at play. My friend needed a ride to deliver some parcels to Kings Cross. Arriving at a house, I found myself staring at a trio of faces, one of which belonged to Jennifer. I was smitten! With sleep still in my eyes, something compelled me to step out of the car and spring into action with medium-level raps. But my advances met resistance, and despite my attempts, Jennifer remained elusive. I told myself, “Maybe she is not interested, so forget about it.” A fewweeks rolled on, and our paths diverged. Fate, however, wasn't finished with us. At a Miss Ghana event, our orbits crossed again. The night unveiled deeper notes of destiny, and Jennifer's words painted a picture of our shared future—marriage and a move to Ghana. A decision was made that night. From that point, the course of my life shifted. I lived in Swindon at the time, but I sought a job in London, seeking proximity and connection. Our journey wasn't without its challenges. Jennifer's optimism clashed with my engineering-trained scepticism, yet somehow, our differences found harmony. WhenJennifer is planning something she sees no risk, no shortfalls, no negative outcomes andas suchnoplannedcontingencies. She just goes for it. Her positivity and faith reshaped my perspective. She transformed herself from an Investment Manager to an Image Consultant and more, fueled by unwavering optimism. Her legacy is already in motion— impacting lives, instilling belief in change. Family is her cornerstone, and celebrations echoes through our lives. Jennifer's legacy extends beyond bloodlines, uniting hearts in joyous gatherings. She radiates love and dedication, nurturing not just our relationship, but also our sons. Together, we navigate life's intricacies, building a life together. The legacy Jennifer seeks is simple— happiness and abundance. Her infectious smile and belief in the power of positivity leaves an imprint on all she touches. As I lay out our story, the raw account of our journey, I see her excitement. These words capture a love that defied time, a story unmarred by fluff, and a bond that forever remains in the annals of our shared existence. A Tale of Serendipity and Persistence: Through Harry's Lens Jennifer's optimism clashed with my engineeringtrained scepticism, yet somehow, our differences found harmony. “ 17 The Birthday Journal
Love O n August 24, 1997, I stood at the venue for a Miss Ghana Beauty Pageant event, swirling my glass of fuzzy navel and scanning the bustling crowd. Suddenly, a guy caught my attention as he walked past me. Looking at his face, a sense of familiarity washed over me, triggering the thought, "Where do I know this guy from?" He continued on his path, and a fewminutes later, a voice frommy left chimed in, "Don't worry, Jennifer, I remember you." Bound by Love, Family and Unity 18 The Birthday Journal
"Yourememberme?" Iquestioned, somewhat surprised, "but you never even called." It was Harry, a guy I had met a few weeks earlier in June while I was hanging out with Akosua Nkwantabisa, my friend from university. As it turned out, I had attended university with Harry’s brother, Osei Bonsu, aka Jiga. Coincidentally, that very same brother, Jiga, had also attended Prempeh College with my own brother. I remember Harry asking for my number the first time we met and me refusing to give it to him. However, he promised to get my phone number from our mutual friend and call me, but he never did. Now though, after chatting with him, I gave him my number, and told him that we would get married and move back to Ghana to make it a better place. We went on our first date a week after meeting at the event, and the rest was history. Interestingly, it felt like I had known him a long time, and I remember telling my closest friends (Yvonne, Jacqueline and Harriet), “Oh gosh! I met my husband today!” I was literally so sure about him, and I told him so, when next I met him. Apparently he had felt the same way about me. We got on ‘like a house on fire’ and would talk for hours on the phone! As our relationship deepened, we discovered yet another layer to our bond. Our fathers, it turned out, had been friends back in the 1950s, eventually losing touch formany years. The universe, it seemed, had orchestrated our paths to converge, reigniting this familial connection. And so, from that serendipitous encounter at the Miss Ghana event, a beautiful love story began to unfold. Two souls, connected by shared experiences and long-lost ties, embarked on a journey that would shape their futures and intertwine their destinies in the most extraordinary way. After dating for a while, I introduced him to my siblings. In July 2000, we attended three weddings in one day, and I felt a bit down for not catching the bride’s bouquet at the third wedding. It was reassuring when a big sister told me not to worry because I would likely get married before the girl who caught the bouquet. At that time, Harry was waiting outside, so I went out to go looking for him, only for him to go down on one knee and propose to me. Imagine the joy with which I rushed back inside to show my engagement ring to the girls. We got married in 2001; it was beautiful because it was the first time in our history that my entire family, that is, our parents, my siblings (Lydia, Philippine, Theodora and Cobi), my grandmother, nephews and niece were together. Four generations to witness a beautiful family event; that day in August 2001 was one of the happiest andmost memorable days of my life. In between when we first met and after the wedding, we travelled a lot. First, in 1998 to see my siblings in the States, then in 2000, we went to Rome to celebrate our engagement, then to meet Harry’s mum who was visiting his older brother, Osei Kwadwo, in Canada. We went off for our honeymoon in Cuba and Cancun, Mexico. Two souls, connected by shared experiences and long-lost ties, embarked on a journey that would shape their futures and intertwine their destinies in the most extraordinary way. “ 19 The Birthday Journal
The Three Musketeers “Jen, wake up, you are groaning in pain.” “I am not in pain,” I whispered, and turned back to sleep. An hour later, I was awake, the contractions coming on strongly. “Quick!” I said toHarry, “the baby is coming, we have to go to the hospital now.” So we hurried, first to our friend Mwanida’s to collect a machine to help relieve the pain, and then to the hospital, where Harry rushed off to park the car, while I hung around with the midwives. Exactly fourteen minutes after entering the hospital, I felt the urge to push. “But my husband is not here,” I complained to the midwife. “Do you want your husband or do you want your baby?” she asked. To the Glory of God, Harry came in just in time for the birth, and a fewminutes later, we held our first born son in our arms. It was April 22, 2003, and we named him Jerry, a combination of both our names; Jenny and Harry, and then Reuben, which means first born. Roman’s birth in 2005, was even more dramatic. As soon as I felt the weight in my pelvic area, I knew that the baby was arriving, particularly taking into consideration how Jerry’s birth had been so quick. 20 The Birthday Journal
“Hurry,” I whispered to Harry, “let’s go to the hospital, the baby is coming.” Harry quickly went to get Jerry, to put him in the car. When he returned to get me, I said to him, “no don’t worry, the baby is coming now.” The alarmed look on my husband’s face as he rushed to get a towel and a bowl and grabbed the phone to call the ambulance service. Just then pop, the baby came out, and Harry caught him. Soon the ambulance came and took us all to the hospital. It was quite an experience. Benny’s birth in May, 2008, was less dramatic, just that it came as easily as Roman’s. The only thing is that he was born with a hernia which was going to be operated upon, but through prayers the hernia was healed, so he did not even need the surgery. Speaking of prayers, I was one of the first within my department at work to give birth and whilst I was pregnant, some of my colleagues would askme if I was afraid of the pain associated with childbirth. My response was that the pain is inevitable as prescribed by the good book! My prayer was that the labour would be quick so that the pain felt was minimum– well, the answer to the prayer came in the form of what I later found out to be a medical condition known as precipitate delivery. It’s no wonderMatthew 7:7 remains one of my favourite scriptures – “Ask and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.” I really enjoy motherhood. We wanted to be hands-on parents, considering the fact that both Harry and I had been shipped off as babies to our grandparents; me at seven weeks and Harry at three months. In order to achieve this, we decided that the children should be breast-fed exclusively. That way, we would be able to bond. Harry was a very hands-on dad, changing nappies, cleaning the babies and all that. At one point, because Harry spent more time at work, Jerry was not too familiar with him, so we had to look for a way to make Harry bond with him. We did get loads of help. I remember when Jerry was born, that was the same time the government was giving mothers maternity leave with pay for extended periods. This really helped, as I got to stay at home for as long as I wanted, and was still being paid. It took a lot of pressure off me. Also, we had external help; for instance, Harry’s mother came several times to help. My mom came for a month when Jerry was born, and several other friends came on and off to assist us during the period. Our boys are very good children and they are very close to each other. I remember when they were young, my friend Shawna visited us from the UK and exclaimed in surprise when she saw all three of them huddled in an armchair, even though there were many other chairs in the sitting room. People would often ask how we disciplined them, seeing as they were so composed, and we would tell them that we never caned them. Rather, we would talk with them, and make them see reason if they were naughty. Also, they have a very close bond with their father, and to this day they call him every day. Family with my mum Dad with Siiisi Kwame and Baby Roman 21 The Birthday Journal
Jerry-Reuben “JE JE JERRY-REUBENNNNN." It's like her own special way of calling me, and it's something I'll always remember. My mom, she's something else. You know what I lovemost about her? It's her kindness and, well, her cooking. That jollof rice and chicken shemakes, it's like a taste of home. You knowwhatmakes her happy?Doing household chores. I guess it's like her way of keeping things in order. But on the flip side, when things aren't in order, it's what makes her sad too. My mom, she laughs at everything. It's like she finds joy in the littlest things, and that's something I really admire about her. She's just got this way of looking at life that's infectious. I'd describe her as conscientious. She's careful about everything she does, always thinking things through. And it's funny, but in a way, she reminds me of Minnie Mouse—the way she's got this cheerful and caring personality. One thing that makes me really proud of her is how she's a life coach not just to her clients, but to us, her family, too. She's always there with guidance and advice, and that's something special. What inspires me most about her is her optimism. No matter what comes her way, she's always looking at the bright side. It's a quality I wish I had more of. Roman Everywhere she goes, she sprinkles magic, making even the ordinary days feel special. Yup, that's my incredible mom, Jennifer. She's like a burst of excitement and love all rolled into one. Her enthusiasm could power a small town! Holidays are a blast with her around. Oh, and her hilarious "MANNNIEEEE" calls? They crack me up every single time. It's like our secret language. Her happiness skyrockets when I succeed in something. You can see it in her smile, like we're celebrating together. But if I'mdown, she feels it too. It's like she's wired to my emotions. She's got this awesome sense of humor – mostly at her own jokes. Being around her is like being around sunshine."Bubbly" is the word that sums up her personality. She's a positivity powerhouse. Challenges? Losing family members hit hard, but she's a pro at surrounding herself with the right people. My mom is a force. Her energy and love shape my world, and I can't wait for all the adventures she'll bring. Benny Nothing kills my mom’s vibe. Energetic— that's my mom's personality in a nutshell. She's a whirlwind of enthusiasm that adds a spark to everything. Her deep understanding of God's word, her boundless love, and the genuine excitement she shows whenever she sees me. And her cooking, oh My mom, she laughs at everything. It's like she finds joy in the littlest things, and that's something I really admire about her. She's just got this way of looking at life that's infectious. “ Why My MomHolds My Heart 22 The Birthday Journal
man, her cooking is a masterpiece. Childhood memories are snapshots in time, and one of my most cherished ones is when we'd watch the Food Network together. It wasn't just about the TV—it was about sharing moments, being on the same page. I'm proud of her every time she cooks. It's not just about the food; it's about her dedication and the love she pours into it. Her happiness is a guiding light. In a world where things can get tough, she shows me that a positive outlook matters. Her words, "I love you," they're like a constant hug. And yeah, she's always on me about putting away my laptop before heading out. Seeing her happy is easy—it's when we're all together as a family. You can see the joy in her eyes, and it's a feeling I'll always remember. But on the flip side, being away from family makes her sad. You can sense how deeply she values our bond. Her laughter, it's music in my ears, often sparked by my dad's antics. It's a melody of happiness that fills our home. My mom, Jennifer, she's not just a parent—she's my guide, my inspiration. Her connection to faith, her love, her cooking—they're parts of her that shape who I am. I'm lucky to have her, and I want to carry her lessons of happiness and love with me always. 23 The Birthday Journal
Embracing The Homeland Ghana “What would you do if we moved to Ghana?” It was an email message from Harry. I gave him a list of six things I would do if I moved to Ghana. Actually, I had always known, even before we got married, that we would move to Ghana. It was just a matter of when. When our friends and relatives heard of our decision to move back home, some tried to discourage us. They could not understand why we would want to exchange our high flying jobs and comfortable life for a life in Ghana, but we were settled on it. We were Ghanaians and we wanted our children to be raised there. The first thing we did was to give ourselves a deadline of between two to five years. Next, we put our house up for sale. It took between five to six months for the house to finally sell, which came in handy because I had taken a redundancy package fromwork and Harry was working on contract basis. 24 The Birthday Journal
“ We were Ghanaians and we wanted our children to be raised there. 25 The Birthday Journal
When the house was sold, we shipped our things off in a forty foot container, shipped a car, and set off onward to Ghana. Harry took a trip in May 2009 to organise a place to rent within Celebrity Golf in Sakumono as well as find a potential school for the children. It helped that the children were young when we came, they were six, four and twenty months. At least, it was a period where they did not have time to miss their friends or sulk about wanting to go back to England. Thefirst school theboys attendedwas verygoodand they attended for at least 5 years. As it became very popular, the class sizes increased and there were some incidents that took place around students being caned which we were very much against. A year after Jerry-Reuben left to boarding school, Tema International School (TIS), we moved the younger two to Nouvel which had small classes, then Ebenezer (Benny) attended Beacon College International School before also starting boarding at TIS like his brothers before him. In addition to that, we kept the boys very busy. There was football, school, Tae kwon do, visiting my grandma on the mountain, and a host of other things. We are glad to have been able to bring the boys up in Ghana, they have a sense of identity, know their language and culture, and are very well rounded and well brought up. Work I stood in-front of the eight thousand dollars a year office I had rented at Labone. It was beautiful, and I loved our business name, ‘Amazing U.’ The one thing I often told myself when I was moving to Ghana, was that I would be self-employed. I had done twelve years of corporate life in London and was fed up with it, but there were risks associated with being an entrepreneur in an emerging economy. So, when we were moving back home to Ghana, I got some training. Right after I had JerryReuben, I took part in a two-day program called Personal Leadership Program. It sought to hone our soft skills, yet, it was so powerful. It literally gave me an understanding about mindset and belief systems and just how one could become what they wanted to be. During that training program, I decided that I wanted to be like the facilitator; she was my HR Manager, Kim Webster. If only I could do what she was doing. So, before the move to Ghana, I got trained in Neuro Linguistic Programming, which is a personal development specialty area and I did an Image Consultant course. I 26 The Birthday Journal
did other things like obtaining an events management certification and HACCP (catering). I was sure that I was well-equipped to begin my projects, but people kept telling me that if I was to succeed in that space, I needed a nice office in town. So, here I was, standing in my beautiful office space; except that I hardly made any money at that time – for different reasons. However, what I did at that time was build a network and grab every opportunity to use my skills and share my knowledge, expertise and experience. I did a photo shoot for a magazine, did stuff for friends, met new people like Rev. Akua, attended career fairs at Ashesi, organised a couple of events with Siba (Chic by Siba), including a Pearls and Fascinators event. When I look back now, it was like a few years of sowing seeds. It was there that I got my first opportunity to deliver training through an image consulting client. People got to know me and what I did. I may not really have been very good at (intentionally) marketingmyself, but I did lots of speaking engagements and training. Even now, people who knew me from ten years ago, ask me to do training programs for them and refer clients to me. Networking A lot of people in Ghana are connected with each other through the secondary school or the university they attended. Having received all my education after primary school in England, I may have been at a disadvantage because, apart from extended family, practically no one knew me. One of the first opportunities I had to make new friends and connect with individuals in a similar situation as mine was through a group of returnee ladies, and later, the formation of Sankofa International Ladies Association (SILA). It provided invaluable support, allowing me to share challenges and relish new experiences with an incredible group of women who had also chosen to return 'Home.' Over the years, I became a part of the coaching community and connected with another group of NLP Practitioners whom I met when I conducted two sets of certification programs in 2017. During that time, I invited and brought Nick and Jessica Reed-Robbins to Ghana to deliver life-changing training. Later in the same year, Maud Lindsay-Gamrat, a logistics and catering business owner whom I had met a few years earlier, extended an invitation for me to join her, along with the first Ghanaian Distinguished Toastmaster (DTM) Papa Arkhurst, and others, to charter the East Legon Toastmasters Club. That organisation gave me the opportunity to developmy public speaking skills as well as become part of a community. I was the VicePresident of theClub at the time of charter andwent on to hold other leadership roles within Toastmasters in Ghana for the next few years. For the first time, I felt a sense of belonging again, building new friendships and working alongside other people to achieve goals. For someone who is self-employed and working alone for the most part, it was refreshing to see the same people over a long period and enjoy sharing through giving speeches and participating in leadership activities. In 2021, Papa Arkhurst, along with PDGYvonne KumojiDarko, was instrumental in starting the first Rotary Club which was made up of Toastmasters after an alliance was formed between the two international organisations. PapaArkhurst askedsomeToastmasters that I knew well and I to be part Charter members of Rotary Club of Accra SpeakMasters. I had heard a lot about Rotary and even been invited to visit as well as speak at a Rotary Club so I knew about what they stood for as well as the wonderful work they do in service to humanity. Joining Rotary has been one of the best decisions I have made. It is a great channel through which to do great things for others that will impact them positively. I also enjoy being part of the Rotary family because of the fellowship it provides. The sense 27 The Birthday Journal
of family is truly an incredible gift to be blessed with. Paying the Bills Work wise, there have been very good times, dry times and challenging times. Through various projects, I have had the chance to travel across, up and down the country as well as internationally as one of the Coaches in the TMS Thrive programme. Both Harry and I value our freedom and flexibility, so at no time have we been employees in Ghana. We live off the contracts and the projects we do. If a good contract comes by, we may make in two days what it would take others to make in months. Besides, we are spared the stress that comes with traffic or even doing a job we may not enjoy. We do get good opportunities; it is just a matter of timing. However, there have been very dry seasons too. For instance, I have a client who owes me money from last year. Other times, I would get a very good contract after a very dry spell. One day, I came home thinking to myself that I needed a good contract, so, I literally Googled ‘Jobs inGhana,’ and there was a website that I never knew of called ‘Jobs in Ghana.com.’ I clicked on ‘Consulting,’ and there popped up, this project being run by a Dutch company, called BOP Inc. I read the profile of the person they were seeking and I fitted it, so I applied for the contract and got it. I got it just like that. This is literally how I have gotten work, and even till now – along with a lot of referrals and recommendations, sometimes I don’t even know who passed on my name or contact information. Having been in the personal development space since 2013, my name is out there so thankfully, often, work just comes. So in terms of strategy, I think it’s just faith and keeping a positive mindset. Maybe if I was to do it again, I would create more structure in my work, in order to be more consistent. I would make the calls, go to the companies, do more networking, actually have a one year, two-year, five-year plan, and invest in a coach to make the journey a bit smoother. I would position myself to leverage the opportunities that the various media appearances have presented to me. My simplistic approach and acts of faith have worked for me, but I don’t think everybody else would survive it this way. When it comes to paying our bills, we have learned to be grateful, to manage, to enjoy when it’s there, and to just wait for things to turn up when it’s not there. There were times when we thought we couldn’t afford an expensive school, but we wanted the children to have a brilliant education. Many times, we had to prioritise our options, for instance there was a time when we seriously considered whether to pull the children out of an expensive school in order to finish building the house, but we decided that they were more important. We just had to be constantly juggling, deciding, making the decisions, and just going along with it. I think there was one very difficult period about three or four years ago. I just thought, this is too much. Like, there was no income for months. People owed us but they didn’t want to pay. Nobody called to give us contracts. We owed rent, we owed fees, we owed, like, everywhere, but we got through it. We just prayed and hoped and waited. Surely, it couldn’t last forever and it was part of life to experience lows as well as highs. I believe some of the things I went through during the hard times have made me more empathetic. There were days in my life when I wouldn’t have believed it if someone told me she did not have as little as fifty cedis on her, however this was my story sometimes. There were times when I would call my dad or my brother to send my hundred Pounds Sterling to get by and they would be surprised and frankly a little concerned. Just last week, I was in the market and there was this woman who was buying some food, and I could tell she couldn’t afford what she wanted, so I gave her some money. I have been there, I could relate. The woman was so shocked that we both burst into tears, and then I prayed for her. Building our nest We bought our land, when we came home in 2010, I think that was the last bulk of money we had left. They were two plots of land on the golf course. We didn’t start for two years, and then every year we promised ourselves that we would finish it, but it took us eight years to complete it. Then again, it has taught us all resilience, and focus, and dedication, and commitment and just keep going till you hit it, till you make the dream. Jerry-Reuben was in London when we were ready to move into our new home, but we decided to wait for him, so when we got him from the airport we came straight to our new home and spent the night here. The funniest thing is, when it was time to go to bed, the boys went into their individual rooms and locked their doors. We’re like what? Are you serious? You’ve always been happy to share, but now everyone just loves their privacy. It got to a point when the children thought that we would never finish the home project. Every time we talked about finishing it, they were like, “oh, here we go. We’ve heard that before,” and they were beginning to doubt. So when it happened, it just was like, you see? Wasn’t it worth it? When we moved in, they literally stood up and applauded us. Now that they are much older, they have started to appreciate the enormity of what we have achieved, particularly factoring in the amounts of money we paid as school fees for all three of them. 28 The Birthday Journal
Then again, it has taught us all resilience, and focus, and dedication, and commitment and just keep going till you hit it, till you make the dream. “ 29 The Birthday Journal
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The God Factor “Once in royal, David’s city, stood a lowly cattle shed,” the other children crooned,while Iheld the toybabyJesus in my arms and rocked Him from side to side. It was the annual Sunday School at the Asawase Presby, and I was playing the role of Mary, as usual. I have always seen the hand of God in my life. From when I was brought home to Ghana as young as seven weeks old, to today. I was really introduced to God by my grandmother, who started the Presbyterian Church in Asawase. When I moved to London, I faithfully attended the Salvation Army Church in Clapton, East London with my mum. I was a proud Junior soldier and learned to play the tenor horn, a brass instrument. Afterwards, I would see the hand of God in everything I did. Most often I would just say something and act out in faith, with not a shadow of doubt of being able to do it. I just trusted God. From when I declared that I would marry Harry, to when I promised to give him a third son, and even when I applied for a job my friends thought it was a hoax. All these had been out of my authority, and yet just by declaring them and acting out on it, they were fulfilled. In days of scarcity, it was this same God I relied on and He saw us through, providing us with huge sums of money to even pay off our children’s school fees. When Benny was born and had to undergo a hernia operation, it was to our God that we turned, and he did not disappoint us. By God’s grace, I can literally count one hand how many times they’ve been sick, they’ve been healthy, they’ve been fine. There is somuchmore, I cannot even begin to name them. We have brought our children up in the fear of the Lord and we believe they will pass this on to the next generation. Life Lessons Everything that I’ve done so far is just exactlywhere I need to be. I am very happy and content. Of course, I’d love to have a bit more money than I have now. I’d love for us to have been able to have a bit more holidays than we’ve had, but, we’re going to be great. Absolutely. I’m a great believer in learning from our experiences whatever theymay be and taking positive learnings. For instance, in May 2016, I went to my nephew’s wedding in the States, I went via London. My dad had just recovered from a coma and had come out of hospital. All the time I was going to America; I knew that was the last time I would see him alive but I didn’t do anything about it. I should have forced him to come home to Ghana. He died in February 2017. I didn’t want the same thing to happen with my mom. My mom didn’t want to come to Ghana, but I knew she was getting elderly and no longer independent. It had gotten to a point where carers were coming in and out of her home. Jerry was in London, but she was literally living alone, so, I did my best to support and softly insist until she finally changed her mind, albeit reluctantly. I often think of my grandmother who is 109 and still goingstrong. Shesayswill behereuntil 120yearsas she’s waiting formyboys togiveher great great grandchildren before she goes. Good for her. I really feel like life is a precious gift to be enjoyed. Earlier this year, I lost my eldest brother and that was a devastating and painful loss. It made me realise that life is transient, here today and gone tomorrow. That is why I am going to make it a point to enjoy my upcoming fiftieth birthday. How I will accomplish that, I don’t know, but it will be done. Overall, I really can say, hand on heart, I don’t have any regrets. Now that the boys are older and I’ve turned fifty, I’ve come into a place where I’m actually willing to take more risks now than I’ve done in the past, celebrate myself unapologetically and live a life of true abundance whilst helping as many people as possible to also achieve great things. Contentment and growth 31 The Birthday Journal
As I gazed on, a feeling of dismay washed over me as I observed Sena, a young and intelligent woman, struggling through her presentation at the Women in Technology conference in Accra. She stumbled over her words, grappling to convey her points coherently. As a new facilitator, her impact fell short of expectations, and it seemed that her appearance was partly to blame for her lack of confidence. Glancing across the expansive audience, I noticed a few people wincing as Sena repeatedly adjusted her skirt, seemingly preoccupied by concerns of a wardrobe malfunction. While her attire was pleasant, it didn't quite accentuate her natural features, and her anxiety about potential mishaps was palpable. This scenario resonated deeplywith the essence of 'Amazing U.' It crystallized my purpose - to empower individuals and businesses to present themselves in the most extraordinaryways possible, whether through appearance, service, or transformation. ‘Amazing U’ Makeover The 32 The Birthday Journal
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I firmly believe that much like a caterpillar's metamorphosis into a butterfly, true potential emerges through transformation. 'Amazing U' seeks to guide people on this transformative journey through training, coaching, and image consulting. Our aim is to help individuals discover their innate capabilities, enhance theirnatural beauty through purposeful enhancements, build self-belief, and surmount obstacles, be it past trauma or emotional challenges. Driven by this conviction, I resolved to take Sena under my wing. Following the conference, I approached her and embarked on a journey of coaching, focusing on presentation skills, body image, branding, communication, and soft skills. Witnessing the remarkable impact of coaching on Sena's challenges reinforced the potency of soft skills and attitudes in our society. Sena, intelligent and articulate, responded well during our coaching sessions. However, her anxiety during her presentation revealed a disconnect between theoretical knowledge and practical execution. This underscored the significance of emotional intelligence, a vital bridge between academic understanding and practical application. Reflecting on the path that led me here, I appreciated the training I received in London. Courses in Personal Development, Modalities, Neuro Linguistic Programming, Image Consulting, andHospitalityfurnishedme with tools of transformation. Equipped with these resources, I embarked on a journey to empower others. Among our success stories is Kwame Baiden, a converted believer in the potential of 'Amazing U.' His testimony reinforces the positive energy and abundance this endeavor imparts. His enhanced self-awareness and understanding of personal values boosted his confidence and commitment to his goals. In the past, the significance of techniques tomanifest desired outcomes or the influence of our thoughts and emotions was underestimated. However, recent years have seen neuroscience support and explain the effectiveness of these practices. I was heartened by the CEO of a major international firm in Ghana acknowledging the growth of the Coaching Sector, particularly in terms of emotional and mental well-being in the corporate world. The potential for further progress excites me, and I'm enthusiastic about contributing to this evolution. Today, the term 'coach' no longer solely conjures images of football; it encompasses broader dimensions of personal and professional growth. As I recall standing before an eager audience in an assembly hall of a university, sharing insights with students about to embark on their professional journeys, thismoment remindsme of the profound impact 'Amazing U' has made. Our programs not only provide essential soft skills for young minds entering the workforce but also nurture a sense of readiness and confidence. 34 The Birthday Journal
The influence of 'Amazing U' continues to grow. Our reach spans beyond tertiary institutions, extending to younger students at GIS, as well as teachers at SOS College and various organizations, including PWC, Vodafone, and the Academy of Leadership and Executive Training (ALET) at GIMPA. In Ghana, I have spoken at MTN, Tullow Oil, and at several international conferences. Additionally, I have conducted online moderation and carried out impactful fieldwork for community leaders and public servants. Through coaching, training, and fieldwork, 'Amazing U' fosters holistic growth. Our mission extends beyond the corporate sector, reaching religious leaders, community figures, and public servants. 35 The Birthday Journal
The recognition and praise we receive through accolades and testimonials amplify the satisfaction of fostering positive change. This journey aligns perfectly with my purpose and brings immense fulfillment. The journey has only just begun. With a determined commitment to empowering individuals, communities, and organizations, 'AmazingU' aspires to unlock the boundless potential within. Our vision is to create a life of beauty, joy, and fulfillment, harnessing the abundance that surrounds us. This path is a testament to the transformative power within each of us. As I envision our 'Amazing U' office complex and the profound impact it will have, I am driven by the conviction that everyone possesses the potential for greatness. Sena's triumphant transformation underscores this truth - a truth that inspires us to continue igniting positive change, one amazing individual at a time. 36 The Birthday Journal
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